i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
