tonight lets celebrate not being married
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
