I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
