he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
tell me about the eggs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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