uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
