I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
