dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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