dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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