So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
