when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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