Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
