This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
