Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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