So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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