Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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