It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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