I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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