I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
