so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
