Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
