my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
