Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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