Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
