Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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