I don't usually arrange sex via text message
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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