The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
