They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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