I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
