ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize