I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
