that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize