some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
