Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
