she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
