i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
