i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
