Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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