So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
