what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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