i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
