Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
