Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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