Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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