3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the day after is always just damage control
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
