Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
