Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What a dumb baby whore.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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