Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
