I bet he comes in French.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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