We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
