some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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