YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
