U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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