just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How naked do you want me to be?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
