Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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