Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
