sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
