if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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